Useful as a blow-up dartboard 
Useful as a chocolate teapot 
Useful as a feather-duster in a snowstorm 
Useful as a flashlight with no batteries 
Useful as a hip pocket in a singlet 
Useful as a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest 
Useful as a pay toilet on a diarrehea ward 
Useful as a piss hole in the snow 
Useful as a screen door on a submarine 
Useful as air brakes on a turtle 
Useful as an ashtray on a jet ski 
Useful as an ashtray on a motorbike 
Useful as mudflaps on a speedboat 
Useful as shit on a stick 
Useful as tits on a boar hog 
Useful as tits on a bull 
Useful as wet toilet paper