Couldn't organize a dog fuck in a paper bag 
Couldn't organize a fart in a chillie eating contest 
Couldn't organize a fuck festival in a whorehouse 
Couldn't organise a fuck in a brothel with a fist full of fifties (unlucky, stupid, ignorant just plain dumb usually refers to bad management) 
Couldn't organize a piss-up in a brewery 
Couldn't organize an orgy in a brothel 
Couldn't run a bath