You're nothing but a snake in the grass 
You're dirtier than the Mississippi and twice as crooked 
Her cooking is so bad, I'd rather had a cold scab sandwich and a glass of snot. 
Her pants are so tight her butt looks like two pigeons trying to fight their way out of a toe sack. 
Her jeans are so tight, you can see the veins in her ass! 
Her behind looks like a couple of squirrels fightin' over an acorn in a gunny sack. 
She's got an ass like a ford 9". 
double bagger put 2 bags on her head in case the first falls off 
She looks like a unmade bed 
Look what the dogs have dragged in and cats won't eat 
If she had one more freckle she would have to carry it in the palm of her hand 
If she would screw her head back on straight she might not have to walk sideways 
So country he still has cordwood on his breath 
Comebacks for short people - The bigger they are the harder they fall. 
I bet your mother has a loud bark! 
I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying. 
That boy's momma shoulda hit him in the head and sold the milk! 
Ears that look like a taxi cab with both doors open