face like a smashed crab 
face like a bashed in shit can 
a face that only a mother could love 
seen better legs on a table (fat, or ugly legs) 
what will you do for a face when the monkey wants his ass back? 
she/he could scare buzzards off of a meat wagon (ugly) 
if i had a dog that looked like him, i'd shave its ass and make it walk backwards 
she/he fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down 
That would scare the chrome off a bumper 
Ugly as a mud fence 
I can lose weight but ugly is to the bone 
who hit you with an ugly stick? 
Is that your face, or did your neck throw up? 
Don't you need a license to be that ugly? 
Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege! 
The only thing wrong with your face is that it shows. 
You've got a face like a saint - a Saint Bernard that is. 
On Halloween, all the kids dress up to look like you. 
you got a head on you like a half-chewed mango. 
I've seen better heads on a glass of beer 
She can't help being ugly but she could have stayed home 
You look as you've been dragged through a hedge backwards 
You look like ten pounds of smashed assholes packed into a 5 pound bag. 
My sister's soooo ugly, my mom had to be drunk to brestfeed her! 
She's so ugly when she was a baby her mom fed her with a slingshot 
That boy is so ugly he couldn't get laid in a whore house with a fist full of hundreds. 
Hit by an ugly stick 
Ugly as a mud fence 
Ugly as sin 
your uglier than a burning up donkey in the middle of winter 
I know you cain't help bein ugly...but you could at least stayed home. 
She was so ugly, she could have trick or treated over the telephone. 
Uglier than a cow's ass sewed up with a scupplin' vine 
Seen better heads hanging over a piss trough 
Q: What are you looking at? A: I can't get over how ugly you are  
when she was born the Doc smacked her face. 
you put the Boogie man outta business. 
when she applied for the ugly contest they told her 'NO Professionals' 
she looked out her window and was arrested for indecent exposure! 
minutes after she was born her Mother shouted 'What a treasure!" and her Poppa said "Yes, now let's go and bury her..." 
when they took her to the Beautician it took 10 hours....and that was just for the quote! 
they knew what time she was born cuz her face stopped the clock... 
she scared the stitching outta Frankenstein. 
we had to tie a steak round her neck so the dogs would play with her. 
I heard yer Father first met her at the Zoo. 
her shadow gave up. 
people at the Zoo pay cash so they DON't have to see her... 
her mom had to be Pissed drunk just to breast feed her. 
when born, the doctors had to fit her incubator with tinted windows. 
hotel managers use her picture to keep away the Rats. 
when she walked into the Haunted House, she came back out with a Job Application! 
even Slicky Willy Clinton refused to sleep with her... 
that when you were born the doctor slapped your mom. 
that before a mugger would rob you he'd give you his mask and make you wear it. 
your face could stop a sundial. 
that when you go to the park, people follow you around with their pooper scooper. 
you have a face like a boiled boot and a tongue long enough to lace it up. 
you look like you came second in a hatchet fight. 
your mom used to feed you with a slingshot. 
if you stick your head out the window you get arrested for mooning. 
they use you in prisons to cure sex offenders. 
they have to tie a pork chop around your neck to get the dog to play with you 
you have put two bags over her head in case one broke 
Yo Poppa so ugly he turned Medusa to Stone. 
Yo Postman so freakin ugly he made the guard dogs sh*t themselves. 
Yo Dentist so ugly they don't need anasthetics 
Yo Boss so ugly people go as him for halloween. 
Yo Priest so ugly that he have to give his Sermon from inside the Confessional Box. 
Yo Teacher so ugly when she walks into the Building Society they turn off the CCTV cameras. 
You cousin so ugly that when he threw a boomerang, it refused to come back. 
Your Girlfriend's so insanely ugly that I can screw her in any position and it's still Doggy-style! 
Yo Girlfriend so ugly they put her in the Chimp enclosure to stop the Chimpanzee's from jerking off! 
You so Ugly your Shrink makes her lie face down on the couch. 
Yo older sister so ugly that Mommy had to feed her with a fishing rod. 
Yo Mama's sister so ugly that Blind men refuse to have sex with her.