she makes olympic sumo wrestlers look anerixic. 
that you masturbate when looking at cookbooks 
Your Mom so fat she uses a bed mattress for a maxipad 
when she step on the Weight Scales it says...'to be continued'... 
people exercise by jogging around her! 
when she bends over, we enter Daylight Saving Time. 
NASA plan to use her to shore up the hole in the Ozone layer 
she was measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm... 
small objects orbit her. 
when I tell her to haul ass, she gotta make two trips. 
she could be the eighth continent. 
the only thing that's attracted to her is gravity. 
when she auditioned for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark she got the part of the big Rolling Ball. 
she make Jabba the Hutt look anorexic. 
her fave food is seconds. 
her belt size is Equator. 
she eats Desert out of a Trash Can lid 
she wears an 'X' jacket and Copters attempt to land on her 
she shows up on radar. 
she needs a map to find her butt. 
she fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck! 
she wears an asteroid belt. 
her Passport photo says 'Picture is continued overleaf' 
the circus use her as a trampoline 
stunt agencies use her as an air mattress 
when she opens the Fridge it says - 'I give up...' 
she got a new gig at the Cinema...she works as the screen 
she once told me 'I could eat a horse'...believe me, she wasn't kidding! 
she deep fries her toothpaste. 
that when her cell phone rings people think she's backing up. 
that when you climb on top of him your ears pop. 
Yo Sis so Monstrous she uses Soccer balls for earrings. 
that you have your very own Post Code 
You cousin so fat she's on Both sides of the family. 
Yo kid brother so fat he sat on 4 quarters and made a dollar. 
Yo wife so fat she got more nooks and Crannies than a Ploughman's pastry 
Yo Momma so fat all chairs in the house have their own seatbelts. 
that "all you can eat night" at the buffet still ain't enough. 
that you'd have to use the planets as pool balls 
left the house with heels on and came home with flats on. 
that when you lay on the beach the people feel sorry for you and try to roll you back into the water. 
that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing. 
that the last time you sat on someone's lap they had to look for him in the crack of your ass. 
your bathtub has stretch marks. 
that you're belly button makes an echo. 
that you have your own postal code. 
that you should have a sign on your back that says "caution wide load" 
that cars don't have enough gas to drive around you. 
that your bikini has to be made out of two king-size bed sheets 
if you went to the top of the Empire State building planes would start to attack you. 
as many chins as a Chinese phone book 
fat as a pig 
big as a house 
fat as a cow 
She has more chins than a Chinese phone book. 
she has more rolls than Pillsbury doughboy 
You'd make a good speed bump 
You must use the highway for a slip and slide